it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
