Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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