I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
