So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My ass is underappreciated
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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