i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
