I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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