no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
