Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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