all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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