I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
