i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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