Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As shirtless as possible
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
