Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
