Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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