Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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