Well apparently he's into motor boating.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
