drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize