i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
