My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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