theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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