New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
