had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
