I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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