Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
