MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
