it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
