dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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