I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
