put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
