I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize