i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She told me I should be a condom model.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
