i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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