help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
