I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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