Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The uberlube is also flammable
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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