return my video game
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize