I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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