I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
