Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
