I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
