i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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