you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
