I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
