So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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