whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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