this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
