Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
