You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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