last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
