I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize