He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
