as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
