Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize