Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize