There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
