sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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