plz talk dirty to me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
