we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
