I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
