I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
