She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
