Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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