What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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