Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
