hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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