Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
