Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
