yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
