She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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