Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
