Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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