god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you mean i was at the winter classic?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
